How we Approach

How we approach is important & matters! A conversation is either started, non-existent or conflict ensues. None of these is‘ right or wrong’… conflict & fighting do not have to be viewed as a negative. We establish clear boundaries and we correct others in how they come toward, into and communicate with us through our expression of approval or lack thereof.
I love how dogs do this…if their approach to each other is not in respect, play or equality, they promptly correct with a warning that is met with curiosity, submission or a fight ensues. Not that I want us to behave like dogs. Although, we could learn a thing or two about respecting one another’s boundaries, temperaments and have a little sweeter raucous play in our lives.

Consider your goal in how you come toward another. Are you asking them to take part in the medicine that is needed in the healing of a moment? Is your expectation that they are your medicine when they are not in relation to the source of your pain? What are your clear expectations?
Self-responsibility is about understanding our trigger, mulling on the source of its spark in our system and recognizing ‘all’ of “our “truth within it.

What gets interesting is when we approach with words and tone that are clearly not in the nature of mutuality but rather manipulation, blame and projection. We come with a parcel of burden yet expect the other to meet us with unbridled openness. If you come with a sword, you tend to get a sword.. or simply get your head chopped off. If you are met with a queen that removes her crown and opens to your conversation and perhaps simply corrects you, it is advisable to understand the mercy that has been granted you. To continue your assault without investigating the truth of what has been offered you then you might as well succumb to the hostile removal of your forces from her lands. If she leaves you scorched and burnt, I am sure you were given fair warning.